Have you ever had a situation where you recognize your feelings and rumination are so strong, it won’t let your mind rest?
Sure, everyone thinks about the every-day-of-the-mill pesters such as what to make for dinner, how am I going to get all my to-do’s done, what’s on tap for tomorrow’s to do list.
Let’s see, there is a frozen pizza, I can just pop that in and have sliced peaches on the side. Gotta get my fruit quota for the day in! How many glasses of water did I drink? Three, I think. Not enough. Darn it! Where is my water tracking sheet, anyway? Speaking of tracking, wasn’t today the deadline to submit mid-term grades? That is the very first thing I NEED to do as soon as I walk through the door. Oh, but I will need to take Myla on her evening walk first. She has had to hold her pee in for the last five hours. How can twenty-pound dog hold her bladder for that long? Poor girl, I NEED to start getting up earlier to actually take my little princess on her daily walk. Not fair to her – or me. Okay, almost home. What has a deadline tonight?
This kind of internal conversation is on point for just about anyone, I am sure. Am I, right? But what happens when you react so strongly after witnessing or experiencing something historic, shocking, amazing that you are just utterly compelled to bring thoughts together with pen and paper or fingers to a keyboard? These feelings are so strong that it is something you want to remember for the good, or the bad. Whatever it is, it’s a voice – yours and mine that needs to be released into the world.
For me, I write:
To express what I am too hesitant to say in person. Hesitation can be for reasons of wanting to avoid confrontation, not wanting any drama. As a sensitive person, I internalize my feelings and am more comforted in writing words rather than speaking. Writing gives me the courage that my physical voice cannot. Over time, the emotions felt will fade; however, the words I wrote will be reminders of the courage I had to write, and what I could not say in the moment.
How many times have you wished you had said something to someone, but didn’t? I have way too many of those that I have stopped counting. I am a different person in my journal, however. I give myself a different ending.
I write to reflect on how our society is today. Because of my current job as an adjunct English professor, I see, hear, and read things that completely flabbergast me. I am ambivalent towards the millennial generation, for example. I have to instruct students to the ways of the college life and academic writing, but why can’t they just know to take out a notebook and physically write notes? Okay, if they want to use a computer, that is fine, too. But at least be taking notes! All this bafflement goes out the window when I have a thoroughly thought-provoking discussion on the future of the American dream. I know I have their undivided attention when not one student has looked at his or her cell phone the entire seventy-five minutes of class. Success!
Interacting with millennials is just one of the many aspects of today’s society that I am intrigued about. I do have an opinion on life as an adjunct, what is happening to the middle class, (you will see that I am passionate about the American dream debate), the current political mood, and the good and bad effects of social media.
Lastly, I write because years from now, I want to remember. I want to remember my triumphs, my struggles, my little joys with my dog. For that reason, I write everything. I write the small and the big, because to me, it all matters.
What about you? Why do you write?